While I was reading one of my favorite blogs last week, The Hot and Healthy (written by my two very hot and very healthy friends Marysia Weiss and Mackensie Miller), it reminded of a blog post I’d been meaning to write for a while. Mish and Mackensie talk about the importance of balancing the emotionality of the heart with the groundedness of the head. I also feel frustrated at times in yoga classes where I feel like all you hear is the importance of being heart-centered and opening the heart and listening to the heart and the head is discounted.
One of my favorite parts of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in psychology talks about this balance between the heart and the head. DBT is based in part on Eastern philosophy and incorporates mindfulness. I find it an interesting treatment modality. DBT was created by Marsha Linehan for patients with Borderline Personality Disorder, which means their emotions are highly labile and they rarely stop to think things through. This is also typical of the children with whom I work, who are diagnosed with severe emotional disturbance. All heart and no head is one way to think about them (though more realistically they’re all impulse and no control).
However, I personally am someone who tends to overly intellectualize and analyze. I would venture to say that this is common for many people who practice yoga and probably why the leading with your heart concept is so popular. Many of us do need to get out of our heads and check in with our emotions.
Back to DBT. There is a point here ;) Here is my favorite diagram of my favorite concept in DBT: at the intersection of rational mind and emotional mind is wise mind.
(Also I love that it’s a Venn diagram.) Most of us tend more towards one extreme than the other. Either you’re someone who lives in the head and creates distance and can discount emotions through rationalization and intellectualization (rational mind), or you live in the heart and act primarily on how things feel and don’t always thing through the consequences of actions (emotional mind). The idea of wise mind is that you are able to think through options and consequences while still listening to your emotions and intuition. That is our goal: to achieve our own personal balance and find our inner wisdom.
I think that therapy is one option for helping oneself to find this balance. (Let’s hope so, since it’s my career!) However, I also think that yoga is a great place to work on this. The practice of yoga (and meditation) helps you learn how to observe and create distance between yourself and both your thoughts and feelings. It’s a chance to see which tends to have a stronger pull for you. As I said in a previous post, I tend to get caught up in my head during practice. Either I’m thinking about my to do list or giving myself negative self-talk or thinking about the class and how I’d like to incorporate aspects into my teaching. Whew! It’s tiring and I love the chance to shut down the mental chatter, even if only for a bit. I would posit that for those who tend to be pulled more strongly by their emotions, yoga is a chance to just exist and notice the emotions without getting too wrapped up in them and acting on them immediately.
Simple concept: in between thinking and feeling there is wisdom. It’s all about the balance.
Since I started with a picture of leading with the heart, I’ll throw in my picture of leading with the head